By: Escola Internacional de Torres Vedras
When these signs appear frequently and begin to limit a child’s life, it’s time to pay closer attention to what’s going on.
The first step is to recognise that anxiety isn’t “acting out” or a weakness. It’s a real response, often disproportionate to the situation, but one that causes genuine distress.
For children, hearing their parents validate their feelings can make all the difference..
Saying “it will pass” sounds hollow, whereas a simple “I understand you’re struggling, let’s find a way to deal with it together” conveys reassurance and opens the door to conversation.
Regular sleep schedules, balanced meals, and set study time create predictability, which can help ease anxiety.
Additionally, you can teach your child small techniques to manage tension in critical moments.
Simple breathing exercises, such as inhaling for four seconds, holding for another four, and then exhaling at the same rate, can be practised at home and applied before a test or a more challenging social situation. Grounding exercises, such as asking the child to name what they can see, hear, and feel in that moment, can also help bring them back to the present and quiet racing thoughts.
It’s worth meeting with teachers or a school counsellor to share your observations and align strategies. Small adjustments, such as allowing the child to take a short break during a run or presenting a project in a group rather than individually, can have a significant impact. Parents and the school must work together for the student’s well-being.
Parents can also play a key role in helping their child navigate social relationships.
Instead of exposing the child to large groups immediately, it’s preferable to encourage more gradual interactions, such as spending time with one or two friends at a time.
These small successes will strengthen their self-confidence and, little by little, reduce their fear of social interaction.
Of course, there are situations where support at home and at school isn’t enough. If anxiety lasts for weeks or months, seriously interferes with school attendance, friendships, or daily activities, or if panic attacks and negative thoughts appear, it’s essential to seek professional help.
Psychologists and psychiatrists currently have highly effective tools, such as cognitive behavioural therapy, that allow children to learn to manage their thoughts and emotions, and regain their quality of life.
When parents can demonstrate calm in the face of challenges, while also managing their own anxiety, they are setting a powerful model. They don’t need to be perfect, but they can demonstrate that fear is natural and that there are strategies to deal with it.
Ultimately, dealing with school anxiety isn’t about eliminating symptoms overnight. It’s about providing children with the space, security, and tools they need to grow in self-confidence and well-being. And the earlier this journey begins, the lighter each step becomes.
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